Jayus: a word from Indonesian, meaning a joke so poorly told and so unfunny that one cannot help but laugh.
I always knew she’d fall for me. See, I was a handsome man in those days, before I got so old. I offered her the moon so when I asked her to marry me, she accepted gratefully. She never has had much confidence but luckily, I got plenty for the both of us.
And I know she’s always appreciated my good sense of humor. Here’s a couple of good ones I’d tell her again and again:
She hated turning forty but I cheered her up that year by telling anybody who’d listen, “If she isn’t careful, I’ll trade her in for 2 twenty- year-olds.”
She was pretty close to her family, but I helped keep it real. I liked to tease my brother-in-law by telling him, “You are so clueless, you couldn’t find your butt with both hands.”
Later on I’d found a new use for old standard, this time with my grandkids. “Pull my finger,” I’d say, which sometimes made me laugh so hard I’d end up releasing the “joke” a little early. That’d really crack ‘em up.
Now, my wife, she’s not a knee-slapper type, but this stuff always made her smile.
Things have sure changed, though, since I’ve been dead and gone for a week. I just got settled in up here and decided to check back in at the ol’ homestead to see how she was doing without me.
When I looked down at her, after I’d died and been cremated like we agreed, I found it hard to understand when I saw her lovingly place my urn on the fireplace mantel.
Well, that part wasn’t hard to understand, but what she did next was. First, she looked up skyward, almost like she knew I was there, and said, “Jay, there was so much I wanted from life, from you, from our marriage. But we can’t always get what we want, can we?”
Then she smiled as she dumped a bunch of my cremains on the mantel ledge. She smiled again as she blew them off the ledge with one big birthday-candle puff. “But sometimes you do,” she breathed.
She laughed out loud as she spoke to my ashes lying there on the floor, “So there, Jay, is that blow-job you always wanted.”