Swept Away

Jayus: a word from Indonesian, meaning a joke so poorly told and so unfunny that one cannot help but laugh.

​I always knew she’d fall for me. See, I was a handsome man in those days, before I got so old. I offered her the moon so when I asked her to marry me, she accepted gratefully. She never has had much confidence but luckily, I got plenty for the both of us.

​And I know she’s always appreciated my good sense of humor. Here’s a couple of good ones I’d tell her again and again:

​She hated turning forty but I cheered her up that year by telling anybody who’d listen, “If she isn’t careful, I’ll trade her in for 2 twenty- year-olds.”

​She was pretty close to her family, but I helped keep it real. I liked to tease my brother-in-law by telling him, “You are so clueless, you couldn’t find your butt with both hands.”

​Later on I’d found a new use for old standard, this time with my grandkids. “Pull my finger,” I’d say, which sometimes made me laugh so hard I’d end up releasing the “joke” a little early. That’d really crack ‘em up.

​Now, my wife, she’s not a knee-slapper type, but this stuff always made her smile.
.​.​.​.​.​.​.​.​.​.​.​.​.​.​.​
​Things have sure changed, though, since I’ve been dead and gone for a week. I just got settled in up here and decided to check back in at the ol’ homestead to see how she was doing without me.

​When I looked down at her, after I’d died and been cremated like we agreed, I found it hard to understand when I saw her lovingly place my urn on the fireplace mantel.

​Well, that part wasn’t hard to understand, but what she did next was. First, she looked up skyward, almost like she knew I was there, and said, “Jay, there was so much I wanted from life, from you, from our marriage. But we can’t always get what we want, can we?”

​Then she smiled as she dumped a bunch of my cremains on the mantel ledge. She smiled again as she blew them off the ledge with one big birthday-candle puff. “But sometimes you do,” she breathed.

​She laughed out loud as she spoke to my ashes lying there on the floor, “So there, Jay, is that blow-job you always wanted.”

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One Response to Swept Away

  1. barbara toboni says:

    You are a very funny lady, Donna. Cute story.

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